Today was our appointment with the social worker. It was originally supposed to be yesterday, but she called and asked if we could move it. She had a death in the family, and needed to fly to CA.
My husband, Linnell, and I drove down to the city for the appointment. It's about 1 1/2 hours, not including the extra time we need to leave for traffic and possible subway delays. I'm glad it's not something that has to be done very often. The RE's office is about an hour from me, and I do have to leave early to allow for possible delays, but I can drive right there and park, and not have to worry about taking the subway. So, it's still not pleasant, but it's better than having to go all the way into the city.
Anyway, we did run into delays, and we walked up mere moments before our appointment. Luckily, Kate, the social worker, was running a bit late, as well, so we were OK. Linnell and I had our solo appointment first. She asked us all sorts of things, but none of it felt like an interrogation, as I have felt with some in the past. She said that her main job was to make sure potential surrogates knew the physical and psychological that they and their families were undertaking. But, since I knew all of that already, this meeting was mostly a formality, and we talked about other stuff. She asked me what my advice would be for a new surrogate. What would I want to make sure they knew? I told her that I would tell them not to compromise on the big stuff, like abortion and reduction. Like I told you guys a few posts ago. That stuff has to be absolutely agreed upon at the outset. We didn't chat about what I'd do with the money, but she did mention that it seemed like we didn't "need" the money, so I'm guessing that some of her other questions were designed to reach that answer without outright asking the question. It's important to make sure women aren't just doing this for the money, or they might get taken advantage of. Plus, nobody wants surrogacy to seem like exploitation of poor women, so poor women need not apply. She did ask what our biggest stressors were at the moment, so I think that was probably a money question at it's heart.
When we were done, she called Adam & Steve in (they had arrived while we were in with Kate). They talked for a little while, and then Linnell and I were invited back in. We went over the big things - abortion and selective reduction, but we also went over other stuff. What kind of relationship(s) did we envision during and after the pregnancy? Had we discussed breastfeeding/pumping? How did we hope things would work in the hospital? Etc., etc.
It went well, and we solidified the fact that we still wanted to work together. We had already talked in our conference call about a lot of it, and we had connected socially both on our family outing to the zoo and when Linnell and I had gone to lunch with them a few weeks ago. On the way out, Adam told me he had already called their lawyer and told them to start the contract! Woo!
My husband, Linnell, and I drove down to the city for the appointment. It's about 1 1/2 hours, not including the extra time we need to leave for traffic and possible subway delays. I'm glad it's not something that has to be done very often. The RE's office is about an hour from me, and I do have to leave early to allow for possible delays, but I can drive right there and park, and not have to worry about taking the subway. So, it's still not pleasant, but it's better than having to go all the way into the city.
Anyway, we did run into delays, and we walked up mere moments before our appointment. Luckily, Kate, the social worker, was running a bit late, as well, so we were OK. Linnell and I had our solo appointment first. She asked us all sorts of things, but none of it felt like an interrogation, as I have felt with some in the past. She said that her main job was to make sure potential surrogates knew the physical and psychological that they and their families were undertaking. But, since I knew all of that already, this meeting was mostly a formality, and we talked about other stuff. She asked me what my advice would be for a new surrogate. What would I want to make sure they knew? I told her that I would tell them not to compromise on the big stuff, like abortion and reduction. Like I told you guys a few posts ago. That stuff has to be absolutely agreed upon at the outset. We didn't chat about what I'd do with the money, but she did mention that it seemed like we didn't "need" the money, so I'm guessing that some of her other questions were designed to reach that answer without outright asking the question. It's important to make sure women aren't just doing this for the money, or they might get taken advantage of. Plus, nobody wants surrogacy to seem like exploitation of poor women, so poor women need not apply. She did ask what our biggest stressors were at the moment, so I think that was probably a money question at it's heart.
When we were done, she called Adam & Steve in (they had arrived while we were in with Kate). They talked for a little while, and then Linnell and I were invited back in. We went over the big things - abortion and selective reduction, but we also went over other stuff. What kind of relationship(s) did we envision during and after the pregnancy? Had we discussed breastfeeding/pumping? How did we hope things would work in the hospital? Etc., etc.
It went well, and we solidified the fact that we still wanted to work together. We had already talked in our conference call about a lot of it, and we had connected socially both on our family outing to the zoo and when Linnell and I had gone to lunch with them a few weeks ago. On the way out, Adam told me he had already called their lawyer and told them to start the contract! Woo!
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